I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I need moral support for this bender
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
