He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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