My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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