it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
