He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
