We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
