Three words: puerto rican gang bang
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
We got so high we made milksteak
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
