dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
