All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
