did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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