we're chasing vodka with high fives
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
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he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
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you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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