i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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