So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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