OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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