I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
