I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize