Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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