If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
