420 ftw
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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