stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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