I just made out with a guy for $7.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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