so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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