I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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