mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize
