I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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