Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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