After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
