I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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