her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
