Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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