I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I have post one night stand depression
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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