how can u be prego again
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
