It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
