We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
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