I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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