actually, I'm a sock model
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Just pee around me
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
