Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I just found puke in my bra..
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
