I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
