I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
