Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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