just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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