a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
