They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
