Whats the glycemic index on semen?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize