I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
should my penis look like a turkey
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
