oh god the rape fog is back!
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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