Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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