Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Everclear isn't food dammit
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
