Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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