i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
