His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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