I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Can I color on your dick again?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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