dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
