just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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