Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(440): View more from Ohio

wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant

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(502): View more from Kentucky

i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...

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(602): View more from Arizona

Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.

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(806): View more from Texas

That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...

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(336): View more from North Carolina

After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin

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