you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
