she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize